You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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