sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My dick has a subreddit
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
