she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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