Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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