Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
did i walk over a car last night?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
