love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Less talking, more tequila
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
