i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
where are my eyebrows?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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