you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
