just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
