try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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