She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
