i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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