I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize