Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You need Xanax blowdarts
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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