If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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