Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
