From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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