Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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