Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
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It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
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All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize