Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
