angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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