This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
