oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize