We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she looked like the before picture.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
do nipples grow back?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
