dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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