if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize