Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im holly from the hills drunk
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
