Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
