I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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