Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
