...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
