Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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