Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize