I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
