Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
