Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize