Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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