so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
