you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
