so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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