Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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