party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
