You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
