This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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