either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Your cock deserves a montage
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
