I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Alive.
So much puke
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize