I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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