So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
