where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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