this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My vagina is officially offended.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
