Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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