one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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