im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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