Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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