I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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