That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
