you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
